You’re Loyal to Your Team. Your Career Is Paying for It.

What it looks like

Executive Director Simone, 35, is fiercely loyal to her division. She advocates hard, pushes back on leadership, and vents openly when priorities get overruled.

Her division loves her.

Her VP thinks she’s difficult.

And when promotion time comes, she’s passed over — not for lack of skill, but because she’s seen as someone who can’t play at the next level.

Her team’s projects lose visibility because she burned the relationships that would have championed them.

Simone sets a coaching goal of repairing her relationship with her VP while continuing to be a strong advocate for her team.

The learning

While unpacking the experience with her coach, Simone realized that she was confusing loyalty with opposition. She believed advocating for her team meant fighting leadership. But influence requires relationship — and relationship requires curiosity, not defensiveness.

Her coach asked: What are you assuming about “managing up”? What have you noticed about how your VP responds to you? What meaning does loyalty hold for you? What’s within your control to shift here?

What gets missed

Simone realized that managing up isn’t selling out. It’s strategic. It’s essential.

When she dismissed leadership as “out of touch,” she lost the ability to shape their thinking. When she vented downward, she risked destabilising trust.

Reflecting on what to do instead

Simone’s insights led her to reframing her approach by seeking to understand before opposing. She acknowledged that her VP may have context she doesn't.

Her coach invited her to think about: What would it take to understand her VP's priorities before presenting your own?

Simone’s plan going forward was to:

Frame advocacy strategically:“Here’s why this matters for the business” lands better than “my division wants this.”

Protect her team from her frustrations.

She would try being transparent without eroding trust.

She would try to build relationships with her VP and leadership before she actually needed them because she acknowledged that influence can be cumulative.

Consider the long game

Your team needs you respected at the top, not just adored at the bottom. Those aren’t competing goals — unless you treat them as such.